October Girl

I think it was a little stiff, no offence of course but I think you should be sending a sign to the reader something like "ooooh!!!! I want more! s/he ...

First off I looooove your avatar! Next, I really like this, but there's not much for me to correct because it's so short. Maybe make it longer? But I can ...

White Lines Is it worth it? Now? Tomorrow? Thoughts of question flow. As a river of fear makes the nerves quiver with a rush of desire.>>>this is one of those ...

[quote="kitty15"]The genre is hard to specify and I don't want to deter any potential readers but I must tell you now, this story could quite possibly evolve into a tragedy ...

**smiles** this is so great I'm just unbelievably touched, but darling the user about me is right, they should have different paragraphs when their talking. Anyways wouldn't it be I ...

Hello there, I'm Max, and my brother is going to Iraq, I'm sorryt his happened to you. Truely I am. I'm afraid at any given second it might happen to ...

OMG!!! Darling, after what you just wrote I want to be your best friend. This is heating up big time, I like the part where you said his cheeks were ...

Hello darling, Max at your service. Anyways i read it and thank God you didn't bore the hell out of us. At least not me. Ok first off I'm happy ...

“Yeah. I know. No really Mom I’m fine. Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow with the date. I love you too. Bye,” After I hung up with my mom I sat ...

For some reason the title dragged me in and then when I actually read the beginning it was OK but it wasn't something that begged for my attention. I don't ...

[quote="Dark Star"][i]im not sure id i got this in the right catagory but w/e[/i] Black Hearts, Dark Shadows Evil lurks Hairs on end Temptation smirks Courage pretends>>I liked how you ...

Music Painting on pure nothingness>>>I love this paragraph colors escaping filled with bliss. Maybe even screeching sounds, but this art is all around. It takes its grip and holds us ...

As I was prancing with the butterflies I got the urge to stretch my thighs And thus doing hit a boy with some french fries And in surprise I made ...

Hey there! This is actually very I myself am pregnant, but it's a wayyyy different story lol. Anyways I was hooked for the title so I had to read it ...

[quote="Nolan"]Oh, what happened >>great start To the love we used to share? It makes me so saddened When it's only your name I hear. Oh, look at me now,>>> I ...